Losowe angielskie dowcipy
That Rubber Thingy... ->
An old man gets on a crowded bus and no one gives him a seat. As the bus shakes and rattles, the old man's cane slips on the floor and he falls down. As he gets up, a seven-year-old kid, sitting nearby, turns to him and says, "If you put a litt... [ca造 ->]
OXYMORONS ->
OXYMORONS... Act naturally Found missing Resident alien Advanced BASIC Genuine imitation Safe sex Airline food Good grief Same difference Almost exactly Government organization Sanitary landfill Alone together Legally drunk Sile... [ca造 ->]
AMERICA: Passing the Blame ->
We yanks just love to pass the blame. What other country can boast of 3 lawyers for every citizen. We come up with the best reasons to blame others for our own problems. Here's a small list... If a woman burns her thighs on the hot coffee she's ho... [ca造 ->]
Chinese dog treat ->
There were three men: an Englishman, a Scotsman, and a Chinese guy. They were having a competition to see which one could walk his dog over the desert without needing a drink. So the Englishman sets off, but he only gets half way. Then the Scotsm... [ca造 ->]
Redneck Census Form! ->
The official year 2000 Redneck Census Form: Last name: _______________________ First name: (Check appropriate box) (_)Billy-Bob (_)Billy-Joe (_)Billy-Ray (_)Billy-Sue (_)Billy-Mae (_)Billy-Jack What does everyone call you? (_)Booger (_... [ca造 ->]
English is tough stuff ->
Multi-national personnel at North Atlantic Treaty Organization headquarters near Paris found English to be an easy language ... until they tried to pronounce it. To help them discard an array of accents, the verses below were devised. After trying th... [ca造 ->]
St. Peter ->
A lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. To his dismay, there were thousands of people ahead of him in line to see St. Peter. But, to his surprise, St. Peter left his desk at the gate and came down the long line to where the lawyer was, and gre... [ca造 ->]
Doomed! ->
An explorer in the deepest Amazon suddenly finds himself surrounded by a blood thirsty group of cannibals. Upon surveying the situation, he says quietly to himself, "Oh God, I'm doomed!" There is a ray of light from the sky above and a voice booms... [ca造 ->]
Morals of Story ->
One day at the end of class little Billy's teacher has the class go home and think of a story and then conclude the moral of that story. The following day the teacher asks for the first volunteer to tell their story, little Suzy raises her hand. ... [ca造 ->]
A gun for my hubby ->
A woman goes into a sporting goods store to buy a rifle. "It`s for my husband," she tells the clerk. "Did he tell you what gauge to get?" asked the clerk. "Are you kidding?" she says. "He doesn`t even know that I`m going to shoot him!"... [ca造 ->]
Ten Reasons Adam Was the Luckiest Man ->
1. He is the only man who has never been compared to the man she could have married. 2. He had no in-laws to drop in. 3. There were no Jones for him to keep up with. 4. There were no credit cards OR shopping centers. 5. He never had his dinner in... [ca造 ->]
Chocolate is better than sex! ->
20 Reasons Why Chocolate Is Better Than Sex! 1. You can GET chocolate. 2. "If you love me you'll swallow that" has real meaning with chocolate. 3. Chocolate satisfies even when it has gone soft. 4. You can safely have chocolate while you are dr... [ca造 ->]
Nuts ->
Two Nuts Where Walking Down The Street. One Was A Salted! ... [ca造 ->]
One Upmanship ->
Two kids were having the standard argument about whose father could beat up whose father. One boy said, "My father is better than your father." The other kid said, "Well, my mother is better than your mother." The first boy paused and then r... [ca造 ->]
Driving On One-Way Street ->
A policeman pulled a blonde over after she'd been driving the wrong way on a one-way street. Cop: Do you know where you were going? Blonde: No, but wherever it is, it must be bad, cause all the people were leaving!... [ca造 ->]